Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
