Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
