wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Randomize
