You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
