Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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