just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
