it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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