This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
two words...techno handjob
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
