if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
