Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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