Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize