A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
