I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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