I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
