I want to walk on stilts...naked
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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