the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
