Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
