Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
