can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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