i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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