I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
