Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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