I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize