3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
