Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Randomize
