She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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