Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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