they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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