I want to walk on stilts...naked
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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