We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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