We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
