I just made out with a guy for $7.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
