ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
