i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
