Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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