At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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