alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize