i need an iv and a liver transplant
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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