We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
