I just threw up on my dentist
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
