you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
