I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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