I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
