I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
