By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
