So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
