but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
