You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
