dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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