just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
