Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Houston, we have a blender
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
