First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize