you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
