Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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