I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
