I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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