You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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