and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
