So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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