I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
