naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
