I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
