I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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