Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
this boner is exhausting
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
