i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
