were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
