it wasn't lemon gatorade
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
