so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Girls should come with a carfax report
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
