But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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