Only a mothe r could love this liver
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
