Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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