you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
