I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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