She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
