Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
