How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
